life, death, and everything in between.

Life scares me, to be honest. But so does death. There's just so many possibilities for either of those things. With life, it's: what to learn, how to live, what to expect, how to grow up, what to pursue, how to dream, what choices to make. With death, it's: how soon, what to expect, how to die. Not knowing makes everything much more frightening. I'm almost scared to continue growing up and go on with life, because I don't know what to expect, but then again, I'm scared of it ending too soon, too. This past week really opened my eyes, in a fearful sort of way. A classmate passing away? Only 18 years old? Even though I didn't know him, I felt terrible. Never had I even thought about the possibility of someone not making it past high school. It scares me. It could have been anyone in that car. Someone I was closer to? That would have made the entire situation ten times worse. How are you supposed to move on from something like that? I know that life and death is all natural; it's going to happen whether we like it or not. But does it have to happen so soon? Why couldn't that kid live longer? Why was it his time to go? Life just isn't fair. It's not even fair enough. So many people out there don't deserve for terrible things to happen to them. But it still does. I just can't understand why. It's too big to wrap my head around. But I do think I know one thing from all this. You can't take life for granted. You really, really can't. You never know when it's going to end, or how much you will have accomplished. Even though this whole situation is painful to deal with, in a way it's kind of a reminder to not let that happen to us. Live every day to the fullest, and you'll be satisfied. (I'm sorry that sounds really cliche). It's not a lot of comfort, and it's still hard to think about. I don't have the answers to any of these questions. I don't want to live in fear of death, but I don't want to take life for granted either. I want to do something with my life, and do something for other people to improve theirs. 


Everyday is a gift, you've been given; make the most of the time, every minute you're livin'.